I know from the tension in my gut,
that I just sat up from crouching
for the first time in a while.
When my eyes were closed,
I saw a fetus
shivering in the snow.
They’re open now,
and the skin around them is stiff.
So I know I’ve been crying.
I don’t want to put my glasses on.
I want to keep everyone around me
So I don’t see them seeing me.
So I don’t have to wonder
if they see
the frozen embryo.
I’ve waited so long
to disqualify me from existence.
But there is never any lightning,
or a mark of “final draft”.
So this is what it is
to be born again, and again, and again.